Can You Have a Successful Relationship with an Adventurer?

Do you remember when you first got together with your great new boyfriend? Everything was so perfect! He’s funny, gorgeous, smart and everything that you’ve ever wanted in a man. You’re starting to believe in fairy tale endings because everything is going so well.

You may even have started to look at wedding dresses once in a while when no one is looking. Then it all comes crashing down around you when he alerts you that he’s going to be backpacking in Europe for the summer, and you don’t seem to be invited.

It’s hard to know how to react to that because you thought the two of you were getting along so well. At the same time, he’s behaving as if what he’s doing is nothing unusual. The more you talk to him about it, the more you find out that it actually IS NOT unusual for him. It seems that you’ve managed to hook up with an adventurer. He’s a guy that must be on the move as much as possible. It’s a part of his life and he’s not interested in giving it up for any reason; not even you.

Even though this type of lifestyle isn’t all that uncommon for certain people, if you’ve never met anyone like that, it may come as a shock to you. It most likely will become even more confusing when this guy tells you that it doesn’t change how he feels about you or anything to do with your relationship. All it means to him is that he’s going off on a trip for a while and will come back to you when he’s done.

But what does it really mean to you when the man you thought you were going to be in a permanent relationship with plans to just take off when he feels like it for months at a time?

There are many things to consider:

For one, how does he finance these little ventures? Is he independently wealthy, save up for them, or take odd jobs while he’s travelling around? Except for the independently wealthy part, he’s probably not holding down a serious job if he’s traveling around a lot. It would seem as if he works at odd jobs all the time to make just enough money to have a place to live and to finance his trips. Whatever he’s doing for money, you really need to find out the answer to that question. If the two of you become more serious, will he expect you to be financially responsible for his trips in the future?

The other thing is why does he want to go alone and not take you with him? This may point to him needing too much time alone in his life to be in a relationship.

These things are just the beginning of what you need to figure out. The bottom line is if he’s planning to take off when he pleases and it doesn’t bother him to be away from you for months at a time, that’s really not much of relationship. Will it be enough for you?