Got Psoriasis? Dating Tips To Help You Cope

CNN published another great article today that touched on the subject of dating when you have the skin condition called psoriasis.  These same dating tips can also apply just as well to many other conditions or disabilities such as depression, eczema, herpes or other STDs, loss of mobility, etc.

The beauty of online dating sites is the fact that you can get to know a person for a bit BEFORE you meet them in person for the first time.  First impressions count heavily, and you can take advantage of flattering profile pictures, chat, and messaging features on online dating sites to put your best-self out there as a great first impression.

Once you meet in person, the bottom line is that you have to emphasize your positive traits and radiate confidence and positive energy.  Smiling, good posture, and a positive attitude can do a lot for one who is trying to date while dealing with a setback of some sort.  It may be difficult to do, but you must do your best to put forth this effort so you can greatly improve your dating possibilities.

Here is the original article:  Dating Tips: Don’t Let Psoriasis Keep You at Home

Dealing With Your Obsession with a Man

The symptoms of obsession are pretty clear to everyone other than the women that are suffering from this disorder. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you think about him constantly?
• Do you call him several times every day?
• Do you stalk his Facebook?
• Are you depressed when you feel that he’s avoiding you?
• When your phone rings and it’s not him, do you hate the person calling?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re definitely obsessed with this guy. It also is very important that you correct this situation before it ruins your life.

The first thing you should know is that being obsessed is NOT normal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Thinking about someone constantly to the point that you’re miserable, there’s a definite problem that has nothing to do with the man but everything to do with you.

It’s toxic to be obsessed for many reasons. You’re putting your entire life on hold when you’re obsessed. This has a huge negative impact on your life overall that you can’t see.

Feeling obsessed over someone usually starts when you know you can’t have this guy. It’s your mind that cannot accept that he’s never going to feel the same way for you that you do for him. This makes you feel bad. To get rid of this feeling, you start doing things that you believe will change the situation. Calling him constantly, stalking him, and spying on him will not do anything except push him even further away.

You should know that it’s not going to be easy to get past these awful feelings. It is hard work and you’re going to have to do it. The reason it’s hard is because you MUST stop doing all of these things because they’re just going to hurt you. Once these feelings start to fade, you’ll feel much better.

When you find yourself leaning towards doing some of those obsessive actions, try making a list of your thoughts. Put on your list things like:

• If I feel like stalking his Facebook, should I?
• How will I feel if I do it?
• If the answer is negative, ask yourself what else you can be doing right now to help yourself?

Then list some possible things that you can be doing like:

• Go for a walk
• Spend time on a hobby
• Work out
• Call a friend
• Play catch up with work
• Walk your dog
• Cook

You put down these ideas or anything else you can think of. Once the list is finished, you’ll have plenty to do to keep you occupied. Do this every time you’re tempted to act out obsessed behaviors.  If you do this for several days in a row, you should have more control of your obsession.

Keep in mind that you’ll still have obsessive thoughts during this time. This will be when you’ll need to decide what you really want to do: Feel better or give into the obsessive behavior that will only make you feel worse.  The only way out of your situation is to choose a positive path.

10 Ways to Hold a Budget Wedding

A wedding can be one of the most exciting events in a person’s life. It can also be one of the most expensive ones. Weddings can be very costly particularly when they are large with lots of guests. The cost can do a lot to throw cold water on the entire event. That’s why if your last name isn’t Gates or Rockefeller there are still ways to have a great wedding at a fraction of the cost.

1. Check into local resources: A website that you need to check into is called A Grand Wedding. This site gives you a list of vendors that have something for weddings for a cost of a thousand dollars. They also have a section where couples can find each other for buying, borrowing or sharing wedding items.
2. Use the talent of your friends and family: Let your friends and family help if they offer it. If they have some useable talent such as photography, baking or cooking, by all means, let them assist you.
3. Buy or borrow used decorations: The decorations for your wedding aren’t required to be brand new. You can save a lot of money with well-maintained used ones.
4. Buy a bridesmaid dress to use as your gown: Before you turn up your nose at that idea, consider bridesmaids dresses. Many of them are beautiful and would work perfectly as a wedding gown.
5. Forego traditional registration items for money: This is a great way to pay for your wedding. If you request money in lieu of actual physical gifts, you can get a lot of help in paying for things.
6. Have a limited guest list: This may be difficult but if you limit your guest list, you can save lots of money. You and your partner need to go over this together to avoid conflicts.
7. Don’t hire a caterer to do everything: Get a couple of larger dishes catered and let the guests serve themselves. Get some friends to help set up, replenish, and clean up afterwards. When you choose to do this, you can serve your own alcohol.
8. Prepare your own flower arrangements: It doesn’t take major talent to pick some beautiful flowers and put together your own flower arrangements. If you can find a flower farm, they only charge by the bucket. Used vases can be found for rock bottom prices at yard sales and estate sales. Get your wedding party to help with this.
9. Limit yourself to only the “Must Have” things rather than “Want to Have” things. Think of how many times you’ve gone to weddings that you’ve even noticed the party favors or extra table decorations.
10. Give yourself plenty of time to plan: The longer you have to plan, the more innovative you can be with your budget wedding planning. If you’re rushed, you may be tempted to spend more money.

There are some other areas that you can save some money such as making your own invitations, but these are the top 10 tips that will get you off to a great start.

Does a Committed Relationship Make You Fat?

One thing that tends to keep men from committing to women on a more permanent level is the fear that these women will gain a lot of weight as time goes on. Is this a fair, or valid, concern? The answer to this question is not so cut and dried. In fact, you would probably have to say that this is one of those questions where the answer can be both yes and no.

Whether or not a woman gains a lot of weight once she’s married, engaged or living with someone in a committed relationship depends on many factors. These include:

• If the woman has weight issues that she constantly tries to fight, it’s possible that she will pack on the pounds once she gets a ring on her finger. That’s not always the case, but for women that have had to fight lifelong battles with weight, they may be tempted to relax once they get their man. It’s a relief to them to be able to eat things they actually enjoy without needing to be on a permanent diet.
• Some women are rather vain about their appearance. These women will probably always do everything in their power to stay sexy and attractive. Even if they get pregnant, usually by the time their 6 week checkup comes around, they’ll already be back to their previous pregnancy weight.
• There are many women that have watched their weight all their lives and simply feel that they can stop doing that once they get a man.  It’s not actually something they do on purpose. It’s more that they relax into the relationship and the fact that they’re with men who love them.
• Many women have issues with weight gain following a pregnancy. They just don’t seem to be able to get that weight off so they just keep gaining it with each subsequent pregnancy.

Obviously, if a woman really cares about the man she’s with, she will do her best to make sure that he likes what he sees when he looks at her. If a woman weighs 130 pounds when she is married and 5 years later she weighs 250 pounds, she has become way too comfortable and relaxed in her marriage. There are those rare men in life that truly love their women and it doesn’t matter if they balloon up to 500 pounds. They will still love them.

So you can see how this is a yes and no question. Any woman who truly loves her man is going to do her best to look appealing for him. She also will not want him to be ashamed to be seen in public with her. A woman who lets herself go following marriage is all but opening the door for her man to find someone more appealing.

While being in a committed relationship doesn’t MAKE you fat, it can definitely lower the motivation to stay in competing shape like you would if you were still dating and trying to land someone.

Deciding If You Should Stay with Your Cheating Husband

It’s difficult to find out that your husband has cheated on you. Even more difficult is having to decide what you want to do about your marriage now that you know the truth.  The choice you make should be one that helps you heal, and sometimes that choice will also help you heal your marriage. Ask yourself the following questions to figure out if you should stay in your marriage or leave it.

• What will make you the happiest in the end? The fact that your husband was unfaithful will make this a hard question to answer because, currently, you’re hurt, angry and may even hate him a little. However, you shouldn’t focus on what you want to do immediately. Revenge probably feels pretty good at first but that’s not going to make you happiest in the long term.
• What do you think about when you look at your past with this man? Thinking about the past after you find out about the affair is perfectly normal. When you think about how the two of you were in the past, pay attention to what you’re thinking about the most. Are you focusing more on the good times you had together or the bad times? This can show you how you really feel and what you may want to do about the future of your marriage.
• Do you still love him or is it something else you feel? When you ask yourself if you still love your husband, the answer is one you should take note of. Obviously, you were in love with him when you married him but sometimes past feelings can be mistaken for current ones. Both you and your husband have changed and grown over the years. Does your husband still have some of the things you fell in love with? Are you still passionately in love with him or have you entered into a comfortable routine? Are you confusing love with a fear of the unknown or comfort? Finally, is your heart broken or just your ego?
• How is the situation affecting your family? If there are children involved, how will your choice to leave or stay affect them? Most parents try to hide bad things from their kids. However, children are more intuitive than most parents think so they’ll know if something isn’t right. If you feel that you can’t accept and forgive your husband’s cheating eventually, you’ll need to think about how healthy the environment will be for them.
• If you leave, will you be able to heal? Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, you’ll still need to heal. A lot of women find out that leaving their husbands before taking time for healing will only lead to more failed relationships in the future. You can’t avoid taking all of the trust issues, hatred and disappointment into another relationship even when the new man hasn’t done anything wrong.

Healing from the ultimate betrayal takes time, strength and perseverance no matter what your final decision. Just keep in mind that the healing is to help YOU, not your husband.  If you decide that you want to stay with your husband, a great self-help course to help you heal is How To Survive An Affair.  It’s a step-by-step system for saving your relationship after an affair, so if you decide to go this route, it’s much better than trying to do it all on your own.

Plus Size Relationships

Television has many commercials these days advertising companies and websites that help you meet the right person. These commercials typically employ actors that are gorgeous meeting other gorgeous actors and falling in love with them. You can’t really say that these are realistic examples of the people that live in the world these days! With the obesity rate clearly on the rise today, there are more and more plus size couples emerging all the time.  Many have found plus size dating sites a great way to meet each other.

Clearly, even though there are many plus size people in the world, everything is still geared mostly toward thin and beautiful people. You won’t find a lot of advice columns targeting the plus size couple. In fact, it seems to be taboo to think about larger couples engaging in intimate acts with each other. So, it’s going to be hard to find sex advice for these couples.  If this fits you, have a look at the following tips to spice things up for plus size couples:

• Be realistic: While there are lots of fun and entertaining ideas to enhance your sex life, many of them just aren’t possible for plus size people to pull off. There are, however, plenty of lingerie shops that cater to larger women. You’ll find lots of these online and most of them offer you discreet shipping right to your front door. Look for those shops rather than the usual ones that only carry sizes 0 – 12. They’re easy to find. This is also true of the sex help books on the market. Stay realistic about what you and your partner can and can’t do.
• Stay comfortable: Don’t give in to the pressure to perform, especially when you know the limitations of each other. Having sex should be about love and pleasure rather than pain and agony. If you’re doing something sexually that hurts or isn’t comfortable, you have to share that with your partner. The only pain that you should have in your relationship is something that both of you agree on.
• Concentrate on each other: What society thinks of you being together shouldn’t matter. There’s really nothing that says two plus size people can’t enjoy each other sexually just like any other couple. Instead of being anxious over public opinion, concentrate on the one you love. Find out what makes you both happy and do that.

• Ignore conventionality: Most people think of intimacy as only being about sex. This is far from the truth. You can be intimate without being sexual. There’s no rule that you have to have sex in order to be intimate. You can do this in other ways. Don’t feel forced to have sex until you’re totally ready for it.

Yes, it’s true that there are disadvantages to being a plus size couple. However, as long you’re honest, realistic and open with each other, there’s no reason why your relationship can’t have as much romance and passion as a “normal” size couple. Do things together that create intimacy and build a relationship that’s solid. This helps you enjoy having someone special to spend your life with.

Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Wedding

When a gay couple makes the decision that they want to get married, it’s not any different than a straight couple choosing to do so. Therefore, same sex couples can have and enjoy all of the traditions of a typical wedding. Just as all straight weddings are different, each gay wedding isn’t going to be exactly the same as others. They may even start some traditions of their own that other gay couples will follow.

Most people at least think about what sort of wedding they want at some point in their lives, so they may already know what they want. If you’re not one of those people, you’ll want to start thinking about how you want things to be at your wedding. You can start with the theme, colors or type of suits you want, and where you want the reception to be and then go from there.

You’ll want to take care of the location early on. As not all places are suitable for hosting a same-sex wedding, this can take a little bit longer to nail down. Once you’ve got the perfect place booked, that sets the date in stone and makes it easier to plan everything else.

Next, you’ll want to create a guest list. It’s important to figure out how many people you want to invite so you can start doing things like booking tables for the reception and giving numbers to the caterer. The number of people you’re inviting can also affect the location of the wedding. You don’t want to get married at a place that’s too big or too small. The invitations you choose will also be important. Include an RSVP request so you can be certain of your final guests.

Something else that’s going to be very important is to get an official that is registered to conduct a gay wedding. You can choose to have a religious wedding or a more secular one, depending on your beliefs. Keep this in mind when searching for the best person to officiate at the wedding. Once that is completed, your wedding is set.

These are some of the very basic steps of a planning gay wedding (as well as any type of wedding). Once they’re taken care of, you can start to deal with the smaller aspects of the wedding. Consider what sort of music you want to have for the ceremony and get that confirmed. Your wedding attendants will also need to have their clothes chosen so they can be fitted.  Also, consider what sort of transportation you’ll want to use in arriving and departing your wedding.

The photographer is important. However, you can always find one of your friends who is handy with a camera to do this for you. The same goes for your cake. If you know a baker, you can probably save a lot of money and get the cake of your dreams.

Once your wedding is all planned, you can sit back and excitedly await the arrival of your special day. It will be one that you and your partner will remember forever.

Relationship Stages

Relationships don’t just pop up out of nowhere. They’re begun, nurtured and maintained. The stages of a relationship are:

1. The Attraction Stage
2. The Adaptation Stage
3. The Courtship Stage
4. The Conflict Stage
5. The Responsibility Stage

Each of the stages offers a necessary aspect to every couple’s connection to each other. These stages shape the views of the couples regarding interpersonal relations and they decide how well the couple can handle their bond.

Couples must complete each stage in order for it to be an authentic relationship. You can’t go skipping cycles or it’s not a true relationship. Some couples may pass through the stages instantly, or they may linger on certain stages for a long time. It takes a different timetable for each couple to learn what they need to from each stage.

Couple can also move to and from stages but never quite get them right. Sadly, these stages are forever sabotaged.  In fact, a connection can happen with one stage with the couple deciding that there’s no reason to move to the rest of them. However, that gives them a bit of a stalled relationship and one that never fully develops.

All of the stages are important when it comes to enhancing the bond of the couple. They decide how long the connection will last as well as how strong it is. In addition, each of the stages brings useful things to the relationship. They shape the emotions of the couples as well as determine how mature it will be.

All aspects of the couple’s different personalities are uncovered through these stages. The process also molds the coping mechanisms of a couple at some point. These are the stages that continuously show couples that relationships are both pleasant as well as troublesome. Each stage can offer joy and pain while still allowing the couple to get something from a unique experience. Of course, it can be incredibly rewarding making up after an argument.

Every couple must pass successfully through each of the relationship stages before making a lifetime commitment to each other. If they want a chance at a successful marriage, they must make sure they’ve gone through each stage and learned everything they can from it. Every stage is a period of soul-searching that offers the couple a chance to think about whether the relationship is worth having or not.

Each stage can be significantly designed so that couples will know the consequences of their reactions to things in that stage. They also grant the couples a deeper awareness of strengths and weaknesses. Decision making abilities are also challenged. These stages show whether or not the responses of each partner are acceptable to the other.

Think of the relationship stages as a road map that couples can use while traveling to a more intimate and passionate connection.  This “roadmap” functions in much the same way as tour guides in guiding couples to a lasting connection. They keep couples aware that they must invest a lot of time, effort and even money to make relationships successful.

Interracial Dating

As little as 40 years ago, interracial dating was illegal and viewed very negatively. Sadly, closed minded individuals made interracial dating and marriage very hard for those that fell in love with someone of another race.

Fortunately, interracial dating has progressed quite a bit since that horrible period. There are still groups of people that find biracial relationships distasteful but it really doesn’t make any difference in the long run. People can love and marry whomever they want even though there are still some issues to deal with.

One of the biggest obstacles that interracial couples must overcome is family disapproval. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to as people have become more accepting of interracial relationships. However, there’s still the chance that one or both families won’t approve of the relationship. This can be devastating to the couple when it happens as love is something that’s supposed to be wonderful and happy. Of course, they want their families to share in their excitement and happiness. Instead, they feel hurt and alone.

These family members can often be the couples’ grandparents or parents that disapprove because of the era they were raised in. Grandparents, especially, may have been brought up during the years when biracial couples were looked down on. If you’re in this sort of situation, try to remember that you have to live your life no matter what your family thinks.

Should their close mindedness make you too miserable, or if they decide that you must choose between the family and your love, you cannot feel bad if you decide to choose happiness with your partner over the selfishness of your family. They should be supporting you. If they aren’t, you can try family counseling if they’re willing but most people suffering from racism can’t be convinced that they’re wrong.

Something that many interracial couples do is actively seek out the company of other biracial couples or gay/lesbian couples. Many of these couples have also experienced rejection in some form or another and know exactly what you’re going through.  This can help you to relax and have fun while giving you a completely new group of friends to hang out with. This group will welcome you and be happy for you and your relationship.

In fact, if you need it, these new friends can be a huge source of support for you if you must deal with disapproval from your family members or society in general. The more you hang out with other interracial or gay/lesbian couples, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your own relationship and what others say or think just won’t be important to you any longer.

There are even online support groups for interracial couples. This is often a great way to meet other couples near you. Finding one of these support groups and hearing how others handle the different obstacles is a really good way to deal with any problems you might be facing.

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out some of the other interracial dating tips we have posted in the past on this blog.

While it can be hard to handle the views of ignorant people, you still have to remain strong and live your own life. Since interracial relationships can be difficult due to pressure from other people, there may be various issues to deal with. However, try to live your life and do what makes you happy. You’ll be able to move past any of these problems.

Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

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